Balance and Beads
Well hello there! Things have been a bit manic of late and it's lovely to stop here a while and chat. I have been making tons of beads, screaming through the to do list, feeling on top of the world, unstoppable until the inevitable happened and I did indeed come crashing to an abrupt halt. Taken down by my body refusing to do anything other than stay in bed sleeping or loll in the chair, propped up on LemSip and watching mindless re-runs of Hawaii 5 O with cups of peppermint tea and the odd digestive or two.
Once again I find myself seeking balance, the need to strip everything back to basics and keep it simple, a recurring theme of mine. I'm a great believer in trying things out to see if they fit and I have to tell you, the stuff I have found myself doing lately does not feel like it fits, it feels wrong, I feel wrong and I don't like it. I think by motoring through everything at breakneck speed I can distract myself from the simple fact that it's just not working, at all. This has happened before when my focus has imperceptibly shifted away from making beads to selling them. So while my body wrestles with whatever virus is currently running amok I find myself in a period of enforced rest. I need to remember what is important to me and how I want to play it going forward, I have really missed making beads this week but loved not being hooked into the mainframe so much. I know that beads are still at the top and spending a lot of time on the internet is sliding down the list but I'm still working on what's in between.
I have been making mostly floral beads these past few weeks but I find I'm being drawn to a different style of bead, something softer and more organic. I dream of playing with my glass, loosening up and trying something less organised, less predictable but for me that's so hard. I want to tune into something deeper, indefinable and personal but every time an idea flits into my head it vanishes before I can even look at it let alone form a thought around it. I'm hoping that by backing away from all the busy work I can make some space for the idea/s to rest and maybe grow into something interesting.